all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
