That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
