i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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