We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
