we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
