so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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