how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
No more Irish car bombs ever.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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