wakey wakey hands off snakey
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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