Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
