and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
