There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
