girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
