I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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