why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Found the puke drawer
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
