Your tits are I can't wait for
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
