Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Boobs speak an international language.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
the liver wants what the liver wants
third nipple confirmed
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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