i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You smell like stripper and shame
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Randomize
