I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
