week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
