I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
