Kareoke will never be a sober sport
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
