it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
