I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
