So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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