it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
