Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
