i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
