kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
