3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
