No, drunk sperm still make babies.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
