i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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