Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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