the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
My life is pants optional.
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