Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
