I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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