I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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