The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
