apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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