i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
