Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
In America we eat man semen.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
