He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
