Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
