he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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