I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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