I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
