you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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