There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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