She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
