butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
