I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
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