I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
